It's been a long time...

since I last posted. It's been 3 months! So much has happened and I don't know where my head is at.

Nearly 15 weeks ago I discovered I was pregnant after trying for 5 1/2 years. We were over the moon and so very excited. I then went for my 12 week scan and it was discovered that I'd had a missed miscarriage. I'd had no pain and no bleeding but sadly our baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I then went on to miscarry at home 2 days later. It was a very long process and not like it is on the TV at all. It's left me heartbroken. It's nearly 7 weeks on and I'm still finding it hard. Every where I look, every time I switch on the TV there seems to be babies. This is one of the toughest things I've gone through in my life.

I have up and down days. Hopefully the down times will become less. I'm still grieving and it'll take time to start to feel better. Russ has been fantastic and a great support. He's found it difficult too.

I've been told that there's no reason why I can't go on to have a healthy pregnancy. After trying for so long to get pregnant I now feel that time is running out. I'll be 41 in a few weeks and I've only got a couple of years left. Only time will tell if it'll happen again.

On the WW front, I've totally given up. I've turned to my old faithful for comfort and it's working well. I'm putting on a couple of pounds a week. My clothes are all too tight, well actually they won't even do up to be just too tight, and I've had to buy some new bits and pieces.

On the exercise front, I had to go easier doing water workouts, then when I miscarried I was unable to go. I've now returned back to class last week and I'm slowly building myself back up to the 6 classes a week I was doing before. I'm booked in for 4 classes this week. Hoping to do 5 next week.

I've got something to look forward to though. We've booked a holiday to Sarasota in Florida and the 3 of us are going in 11 days. We'll be staying with family and I hope to do a lot of chilling and relaxing. No doubt I'll be doing lots of eating too.

Ryan has completed his exams and has now finished school. He had his school prom at the weekend and he looked fantastic. He looked so grown up in his suit. I can't believe he's going to be 16 in a few weeks. (We're both celebrating our birthdays in Florida.) I'm so proud of him. I suppose this holiday will be our last holiday as a family as I dare say he'll be wanting to go to Ibiza with his mates next year.

I'm hoping that after our holiday my head will be a bit clearer, my heart mended a little and I'll be able to return back to WW or I might even try SW on my return.

Please bare with me and I hope to return back to normal very soon. Karon xxxxx

DAY 814- quick update

and to let you all know that I'm still alive. I seemed to of been really busy lately and haven't had much time for anything. I can't belive it's been over 2 months since I was last here.
On the Weight Watchers front, I'm still hanging on in there. I still go each week but my weight loss just doesn't seem to be happening. I seem to lose 1lb then gain 1.5lbs then lose 2lbs. So I'm really around the same weight as I was when I last checked in.
I've also been attending 'aqua fit club'. This is a 12 week course, where we disguss things like fibre, vitamin D and the different types of fats amongst other things. The diet focuses on a Low GI diet. I've been trying to follow this whilst still following WW. It's quite good and it does seem to prevent me from snacking but I do find it rather limiting. I've only got a 3 weeks left on it. After our weekly chat we then go in the pool and have an intensive water workout class. I really like this side of things. The lady who takes us is my usual water aerobics teacher but the class is a lot more advanced and we work at an even harder level. As a knock on effect, when we do our usual class we all work harder. We then have a 1 hour toning class on a Friday in one of the studios where we do something different every week. We've used the gym balls, an hours class with a kiddies football, mini circuits and gliders (my bum still aches from the gliders last Friday!) As I said before, my weight hasn't really changed, by have noticed a difference in my shape. I've lost on my arms and thighs and also on my bum, hips and waist as I can now get back into my size 16 jeans. So that's got to be good.
I don't know if I told you before that I gave up eating crisps and bars of chocolate just before New Year. Well I'm still keeping up with that and I'm now on day 97!! Now that has really shocked me. I didn't think I'd last a week!!
I've also signed up for the Star Shine Stroll in aid of Arthur Rank Hospice in Cambridge. It's a 10 mile evening walk around Cambridge wearing pyjamas! :o) If anyone would care to sponser me please click here or on the Just Giving widget at the side of my blog. Even if it's just £1 it's all received very greatfully. I've always wanted to do something like this and I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm hoping to resume normal services with my blog very soon. Hope everyone is ok. I'm hoping to catch up with you all over the next week. xxx

DAY 746 WI wk 104 & 105

Well I've had a change of meeting and a change of WI day and a change of leader. My previous WW leader has returned from maternity leave and has started a new meeting on a Thursday morning. I'm so glad to be back there. She is so nice and very encouraging and she remembered me by name when I walked in. She includes everyone in the meeting and doesn't just talk about all the naughty food that you can eat with WW. My last ww leader got the hump when I told her I was changing meeting and removed me as a buddy on facebook and removed me as a buddy on the ww message boards. How childish is that?
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WI result today was a STS which I'm over the moon with. I went to Morecambe to my great aunt's surpise 80th birthday and I've got to say I ate complete crap all weekend. Friday wasn't too bad, I had fish and chips. Called into Morrisons (as there isn't one near to me) and got a packet of WW carrot cakes and scoffed the whole lot before going to bed. We stayed in a little guest house on the sea front and our room was overlooking the sea. Just a pity that we couldn't really see it. It was really cold and quite foggy for most of the weekend. Below is a picture of what I would be able to see out of my widow if it was summer.
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Saturday and Sunday was of course the full English breakfast, though I did alter it a bit and had beans, slice of bacon, scrambled egg and mushrooms.... with plenty of toast and a pot of tea..... oh yeah, forgot to mention the bowl of Special K before eating the hot food. The party on Saturday started at 12.30 and lasted all day. I had all the usual coleslaw, rice and pasta salad and a few sarnies in the afternoon which I didn't think was too bad. Then later on all the desserts came out.... I had to have a slice of apple pie that was topped with caramal..... nom, nom, nom. I didn't really need to eat the slice of lemon meringue pie later on in the evening.... or the brie and crackers.... though I did have a few grapes and a banana :o) But guess what, I managed to stay away from all of the crisps that were about, so that's got to be some kind of achievement, right? I'm now on day 29 without having crisps or chocolates. Go me!!
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I tried to point my weekend away, I managed to eat all of my weekly, all of my exercise points plus another 50 so to get a STS was great. I have been very good with my food since Monday so it must of paid off.
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I'm looking forward to being on track for a whole week with a full week of exercise. I've got a double water workout booked tonight and Monday night. I've not got a class for tomorrow as I'm taking my parents to Gatwick airport as they are jetting off to Florida for a whole month. I wish I was going along too. Sooooooooooo very jealous of them both. I might well get the Wii Fit out tomorrow evening instead. Next Tuesday is the first day of a Health and Fitness programme that I'm going to attempt. It's a 12 week course at Newmarket Leisure Centre. On a Tuesday I'll be there for 2 hours where we'll be weighed and measured and they'll disguss healthy eating. To be honest I'm not to bothered about this side of it as I'm happy following WW. Maybe I'll be able to combine it. The meeting will then be followed by an intensive water workout. I done this for 6 weeks before Christmas and it was very hard work but I got a lot out of it. Then on a Friday I'll be there for an hour of legs, bums and tums one week then something else the week after. This side of it is worrying me a bit as I don't like jumping around at all. I will see how it all goes though.
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I'm thinking about doing the C25K. I've never done running before, but I'm seriously thinking about giving it a go. I've got a tread mill at home that I haven't used for a while and I really need to get it going again. Still undesided about C25K, if I do it, I might well start on Monday..... will see.
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Forgot to mention last weeks WI result, I lost 1.5lbs, so I'm now at a total loss of 52lbs. I do not want to go back under 50lbs again!

Forgot to add

that I decided to give up eating crisps this year. I usually have at least 2 bags of crisps a day and if I'm in the right/wrong mood I can polish of a 6 pack no problem! I've never given up eating anything before. It worked out that I hadn't had any for a couple of days before the year ended so I'm now on day 16 without any. I've also not had any chocolate either..... not that I was planning to give that up! Let's hope I can continue with it!! :o) xxx

Day 733 Happy?? Anniversary....

2 years ago today I joined WW. I can't believe I've been going to meetings for that long. In all that time I've only missed 3 meetings. Once when I was on holiday, once due to a BH and the last time being between Xmas & NY as I overslept. Not bad going! I know that if I was to miss too many meetings I'd probably end up giving up. When I started this I knew it was going to be a long trek and that there was going to be lots of ups and downs along the way.

The highlight of the last year was reaching 75.5lbs off and reaching 14st 8lbs on 24th February. I managed to stay at that weight for 2 whole weeks and haven't seen it again as since then I've really struggled. I'm starting my 3rd year with ww weighing 16st 3lbs with a total loss of 50.5lbs. This time next year I really do hope that I'm back at a total loss of 75lbs off or what would be even better is reaching onederland and making 199lbs or 14st 3lbs. That's exactly 2 stones from where I am now and really I should reach it without a problem. I'm not going to set my goals any higher, just a teeny weeny little 1/2lb off for 48 weeks with 4 weeks of 1lb off. I don't think that's asking too much is it????? I am still pleased that I no longer look like this though. This pic was taken the day after I joined WW.

I've had 2 WI's this year. First week I lost 3.5lbs and this week I gained 1/2lb. WTF??? Really don't understand that as I had 29 weekly ppts and 19 activity ppts left. I should of really had a bit of a lose surely? WW really don't make sense at times. I was so pissed off and I ended up having a bit of a blow out. I made proper homemade deep fried chips, chicken escallop in a roll with cheese slice (half fat) plus a slice of bread with 'real' butter for a chip sarnie. I then made a rice pudding, probably big enough to serve 6-8 portions, or 4 really large fat peoples portions. I had a big bowl full and then just as I was about to go to bed I decided to have another spoonful which ended up with me finishing it off! Anyway, yesterday I pointed everything and ended up going over by 4ppts. That's not too bad I suppose.

Last weekend I was meeting Tina for a cuppa and a catch up, put my boots on, went to walk and had a shooting pain up my back. It took my breath away for a while. This was really painful for 3 days and I could hardly move. I'm glad to say that it has now eased quite a lot. Still not 100% but it's on the mend. I've never ever had problems with my lower back and I've no idea what happened. I'm wondering if it's connected to the car accident and whiplash injury that I had in July. It also ment that I've missed all my water workouts this week other than 1 that I tried today. Usually I burn 350-400 calories but today it was just 240. It's better than nothing and I did take it quite easy.

I've been eating / drinking a lot of smoothies. I got a Kenwood Smoothie Maker To Go for Christmas from my mum. She got one after our WW leader recommended it. I've got to say they are brilliant! I've been buying frozen strawberries and blueberries from Sainsbury's (lot cheaper than fresh), put about 1/3 of a bag (no need to defrost) in the cup, add a kiwi (loads of vitamin c), a chopped banana, a ww vanilla or toffee yogurt and 1/4pt skimmed milk. Blend for a few seconds and it's done. No need to move it to a glass as it's in it's own cup. It even has a lid so you can take it out with you. It also comes with a spare cup. Anyway for just 2pts it's fab for breakfast or for a dessert.... could even freeze it for your own icecream. Must give that a go.It's like having a Mcdonalds strawberry milkshake!

I've also been making quite a bit of soup. My favourit so far is BNS and red pepper and it's so easy to make. Very yummy if I do say so myself. If you want to give it a go it's very easy.

1 large BNS, 3 large red peppers (blackened under the grill then skin removed, though you don't have to) 2 vegetable stock cubes mixed with 2 litres of hot water, a couple of garlic cloves or garlic puree and some mixed herbs. This can be cooked in the slow cooker over night or throughout the day (though it's ready in about 3 hours) or it can be cooked on the hob for about 1/2 an hour. Then just put it all in the blender. If it's too thick just boil the kettle and add some more water. Simples!

It's good to see that some of you are blogging again. Catch you all again soon. :o) xxx

DAY 718 Happy New Year

I hope you've all had a fantastic Christmas and enjoyed all the Christmas fayre that's been about. I know I certainly have. :o)

Since I last blogged 6 weeks ago I've managed to gain 7.5lbs, 6 of those in the last 2 weeks. I missed WI yesterday so I had my WI at home and gained 3lbs. I thought it was nearer 7lbs so I'm quite pleased that it was only 3lbs. The last 6 weeks I've eaten out loads with various Christmas meals and had quite a few take aways. I've not been that great at pointing. If it wasn't for the fact that I'd been exercising loads (up to 2 weeks ago) I'd of easily gained double.

As of today I'm back to pointing and I'm looking forward to getting totally back on track. My water workout classes don't start until next Monday and I've really missed not going to them over the last 2 weeks. I've also signed up for a 12 week fitness course at the sports centre that starts the first week of February. On a Tuesday I'll be going in, getting weighed and I think measured, they'll be advising on how to eat healthily and giving us a fitness plan. After this there'll be a 1 hour intense water workout. I've just completed an 8 week intensive water workout class and it was very hard work so I know what to expect there. Then on a Friday evening there'll be a Legs, Bums and Tums class every other week and on the other week there'll be circuits or something along those lines. They're not totally sure yet. Either way it'll be 'land' exercise and I really don't know what to expect. I've only done 1 workout class over the last 2 years and I hated it. I haven't done any form of aerobics for 20 years so that will all be new. (Unless you count me attempting to jump around in my small living room to a Davina DVD.) Saying that I'm really looking forward to it all starting. As a result of doing this course I'm going to have to give up my belly dancing classes which is a shame. With all my other water workout classes I'm going to be out 4 evenings a week and I won't be seeing much of my OH. I get more out of the water workout classes than out of the belly dancing classes and for the time being something has to give.

Looking back over the last year I've really struggled. This time last year I was 13.5lbs lighter and I'm now exactly 2 stones heavier than I was at my lightest in February this year. It's a shame that I haven't been as good as I could of been but on the plus side I've not given up completly. I still turn up to my WW meetings every week so that's got to be good. I've got 3 more WI's to go and I'll of been going to WW for 2 years. I'm now back to a loss of 47.5lbs and I want to go into my 3rd year with a total loss of 50lbs+.

I'm looking forward to 2011 and I'm feeling very positive about it.


Happy New Year to you all!! xxx

Day 678

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I had a great afternoon out in London with Tina and Lindsey on Satuday. Unfortunatly Sarah wasn't able to join us which was such a shame. :o( Hopefully next time she'll be able to.
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I had fruit for breakfast and once Tina arrived we headed into Cambridge. We only just managed to catch the train into London as the queue was so bloody long and out to the entrance. We managed to catch the train with a couple of minutes to spare.
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We met up with Linz and then headed up to Covent Garden. Never been there before and there's so many street acts and entertainers around and they all had huge crowds gathered around them watching. One of the acts was on an eight foot uni-cycle, topless and wearing nipple tassels!
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We had a bit of a look around and as we were all famished we headed for something to eat. We decided on Italian for lunch and ended up a place called Pasta Brown. There was so many nice things to choose frome that it took us a good 20 minutes to decide. I had garlic bread with mozzarella as a starter followed by penne boscaiola which was chicken, bacon and onion in a tomato sauce, basil and parmesan. This was absolutely wonderful and I thorougly enjoyed it. We also shared a portion of fries between the 3 of us.
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We spent a few hours in the restaurant, eating, drinking and chatting loads. The 3 of us headed back to Covent Garden and watched a few of the street entertainers. We then walked up to Leicester Square to work off some of our lunch and more importantly to make room for dessert! We ended up in Cafe Rouge where I ordered a hot chocolate to drink(which came out with a small pot of cream and a small pot of marshmallows) and Pavé au Chocolat (Warm chocolate and walnut brownie topped with melted chocolate ganache and vanilla ice cream) for dessert. We done a lot more chatting with a bit of people watching before catching the tube to Kings Cross to head home. It was lovely to meet Linz and we hope to do it again some time in the New Year.
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I felt shattered when I got home and just vegged out in front of the TV watching X-factor and other rubbish. For tea I had a tuna salad roll and ened up polishing off 2 packets of crisps and 2 2-finger kitkats. I wasn't even hungry so I don't know why I ate it. I reckon I finished the day having approx 73 ppts. That wasn't too bad but I had already dipped into my weekly allowance and I've now gone into my activity bonus points. I've earned 24 and used 6 but over the next 2 days I should earn another 21 bonus points. So I'm still hopeful.
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I'll be back later in the week with my WI results. I hope you've all had a good weekend.

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